Let's Talk About: Learning to Become a Self Motivator

This is a bit of a spontaneous post, but considering all things planned are usually the worst (sarcasm), I’m just going to roll with it. Guys, it’s just dawned on me that I haven’t done any proper exercise besides running for the bus in MONTHS. Months! How has this happened?!

It’s got me thinking: have you ever felt like you’ve somehow lost control — not of your life, but of yourself? When you get to the point that you don’t feel like your best version, and you only have yourself to blame?

I’ve spoken before of my struggles to self motivate — why it took me until 2016 to actually make a proper go of a blog, for example — and of how I am trying to form good habits now that I’m nearly 30. Habit author and researcher Gretchen Rubin discusses how people generally fall in 4 different categories of how they form habits. Much to my own stubborn chagrin, I fall into the ‘Obliger’ category: one who gets things done because other people need them to. They tend to be the best supporters and desperately need deadlines, requests and other externally-motivating stimuli to get their butt in gear (I may be paraphrasing).

Originally, I thought it was best to choose ways of forming habits around my obliging-ass self. Join groups, sign up for lessons, give myself “accountability”. However, I begrudgingly learned that I am not rich enough to continuously pay others to make me have hobbies and health. And then I quit my full-time corporate job, had little money, began working for myself at home 3 days a week, and it all went downhill.

Reining It In When You’ve Let it Go*

I stopped going to yoga — exercising at all, actually — and instead took up healthy habits of daily-cookie-eating at cafes and having frequent glasses of wine to separate my day-to-night transitions. Even though I am earning less, I have to spend more money to have products on the blog. Working from home, cue in more procrastinating, flopping around in the mornings and convincing myself that it’s fine to start your day at 11am.

I’ve been feeling a bit iffy about my life-in-excess for a while, but with Autumn coming along — and my thoughts turning more to reflections — I’m facing up to the fact that I’ve let it all go, and I really need to rein it in.

I excused myself because I was an ‘obliger’ and I just had to get used to working for myself. And now I’ve realised: what a terrible life to lead, to be entirely reliant on others to become your best self. Screw that; I can totally self motivate. Maybe.

I guess this is less of a ‘here is some useful advice’ kind of post, more of a ‘I’m 16 again and this is my Livejournal’ kind of post. (Anyone else have one of those?). But something on my mind nonetheless. Let’s talk about it.

*cue every person ever who may or may not read this breaking into “let it go”

P.S. Because I can’t not provide something useful, here are a few reads with helpful tips on motivation